Why am I "in Transition"?...

...For a lot of reasons. I'm not willing to say just how old I am yet (early midlife will have to suffice for now), but I am getting to that point in my life where the transitions are more about getting older than they are about growing up. My boys are teenagers now...the older of the two will graduate from high school in a few months and head off to Marine Corps Boot Camp (reservist for now), and then start college. My youngest will graduate in two and a half more short years. The empty nest looms.

I hate saying this, but I can't stay solely a Labor nurse indefinitely. I love what I do, despite its frustrations and the tendency to burnout; but it's taxing work, physically and emotionally. I wonder sometimes just how long my back and knees will hold out. Losing weight and exercising will help that tremendously, but there has to be a limit. There are a couple of nurses on my unit who have worked until retirement (over age 60), and even come back in a limited capacity...a shift or two every week or so. They inspire me. Emotionally the work can be rough as well. I know this sounds sexist, but it's unfortunately true...wherever the work force is dominated by females, witchiness happens. I get tired of the constant bitching and gossiping. Not that everyone is that way, nor do the ones that do it do it all the time; but it does affect moral on the unit, and for me, tends to burnout. Hospitals being what they are (a business as well as a service), dealing with the "corporateness" of it all can be frustrating; and finally, particularly because I work on a unit that deals with a lot of high-risk situations, and a lot of patients who live in not-so-good situations, the work can be emotionally taxing. Optimism can be hard to come by sometimes. Having said that, I do work with some amazing women, incredibly skilled and experienced nurses from whom I have learned much; and I have experienced many rewards in working will all kinds of families.

I need to generate more income. I didn't graduate from nursing school until I was 40, and I still have the student loan debt and lack of retirement savings to show for it. I'm looking at ways I can do that...teaching, consulting, maybe even writing. Teaching, particularly looks like it will happen before long; I've been talking with a local community college about becoming a part-time clinical instructor and occasional lecturer in their program; that will entail reducing my hours in my current job, and working during a different time of day during the part of the week I'm teaching (I'm a confirmed night-shifter), and that will be a big, if welcome change. Change can be challenging...even the good changes.

Finally, I still think about getting an advanced degree. At my age, I wonder if it will be "worth it"; but there is so much I want to do that a Masters or even higher degree might open the door to;and there is so much to learn. I just wonder if there is time enough to do it before retirement. I can't imagine ever being completely retired...I'll always want to stay involved in my field as long as I can, in at least some small way...but the reality is that the older you get, the less opportunity there can be, in terms of employment, unless you're in upper management...and even then ageism can get you, even if it technically is illegal. Financially, it will be difficult to justify the extra expense of another degree if something doesn't change drastically in my finances.

There is always hope.